Hey there Outlaws!
Thanks for coming down to the blog.
With Caveman Timecop to handle each week, and new Outlaws joining all the time, it made sense for us to starting putting the weekly updates on the blog. This way it’s easier for you to share the story with friends and things like that.
This way it’s also easier to interact with you, and other Outlaws by using the comment section below. Who knows, maybe we can even grow this blog if that’s something you want.
Johnny and I started production on Unicorn Genesis this week. So far it’s awesome. We’re writing one book, no singles. It looks like it will probably end up just under 100K words.
We’re thrilled with where it’s going, though it’s probably darker than either of us were expecting. We thought this would be light, like the early parts of Unicorn Western, but it’s more like the later sections so far.
Still, it’s definitely the UW world you love, and Edward is a younger, giddier version of our favorite unicorn (if you can imagine that). You should see the finished book in about a month.
Next up is Johnny’s Fat Vampire 5, which you can pre-order today by clicking the link below. Johnny has done some epic stuff with these last two FVs. If you liked the first four, you’ll love these last two, and if you haven’t started, you have no excuse.
Next week we’re going to give you a peek into Unicorn Genesis. See you then!
Now, this week’s Caveman Timecop!
Reed stared at the interactive graphic on Osterman’s computer screen. Reed had just said he was “the world’s only hope,” but Osterman wasn’t the sort of man Reed could take seriously as a doomsayer. He was brilliant, but so eccentric he was almost a cartoon. He had a giant head of fluffy white hair, wide, bugged-out eyes, and a bustling manner that made Reed feel that something, somewhere, might be on fire.
Sometimes Osterman came into the lab wearing his wife’s pants, but when that happened he claimed it was because he never knew if, upon returning home, his wife would still be his wife. So far, the timecops’ time ripples hadn’t yet impacted the Osterman marriage, but he acted as if it was only a matter of time. He treated most cops like toddlers carrying nail guns, afraid at every moment that they might impale someone. Reed, at least, he seemed to trust — but that did nothing to assuage his worry over whatever Osterman was seeing on his screen.
“What am I looking at?” Reed asked.
Osterman tapped the screen at the right side of a massive, tangled line that, in its folded complexity, looked like a brain. “This is the present,” he began.
“I’ve seen a time map,” said Reed, almost insulted. “I meant, what is this, here?” He pointed to the left.
“The far past.”
“Far. Farther than our protection normally extends. You make changes that far back and the temporal resonance, simply due to the permutations involved in that much elapsed time, could exceed what the Tokens can protect us from.”
Reed looked at the scientist. He knew the rules. Every timecop did. One trip, one mission. Tread carefully; go in blind; never try to ascertain how those around you might be part of your own personal future. And don’t go back past 300 years. That maximal window rolled as real time progressed. When Reed had started with the Planck Squad, Lincoln’s assassination was still accessible. But today, just two years later in 2166, 1865 was forbidden. There were plenty of people who wanted to stop the Lincoln assassination, but it was 301 years back, and thus out of bounds.
“You want me to go back more than 300 years?”
“But what about shattering the continuum and all that?”
“The continuum is shattering anyway. Until we got this new sniffer analysis, we didn’t realize how far back incursions by time robbers were causing disruptions. Apparently they don’t care about resonance tears, which is why we’re in trouble today.”
Reed swallowed, realizing that Osterman’s proposal meant shattering a commandment — something Reed had thought of as absolute.
“You have to go back as far as the robbers are,” said Osterman, meeting Reed’s eyes. “Just you. Just one man, to be safe. Or at least try.” He swallowed. “Just our best man, one time. We have to repair the damage when it started.”
Reed thought of what Osterman had said about saving the world. Suddenly it didn’t seem overly dramatic at all.
Osterman gestured toward the Chamber. “You know the rules,” he said. “The Token will guide you once you’re in the slipstream, out from under the station’s protection.”
“I know the rules,” said Reed. “Including the rule about never going back more than 300 years — no matter fucking what — so you don’t destroy the universe.”
Osterman nodded. “Step inside the Chamber, Alex,” he said, his familiar manner of address filling Reed with sudden chills. “Godspeed, and good luck.”